How Will You Wrap Up Your Year? {Some Tips To Make It Through The Holidays.}

There’s so much hustle + bustle out there, this time of year. Can you feel it? I know I can.

Worrying about getting the right present or the perfect outfit to wear doesn’t interest me. Inviting in more peace + joy does. I want to feel the wonder of a year coming to an end, and reflect on how amazing it has been! And this takes some serious intentional action.

The pressure of the holidays is real, friends, so I’m giving you a few tips on how to handle it. We can all use some encouragement, yes? These are some of my favorite blog posts from the archives, to help you deal with this high-paced season without losing your cool:

Handle the holidays like a boss.
I know the it can get tricky with maintaining some kind of consistency in daily life around all of that food and cheer, so I have 10 daily habits that keep me healthy and sane, maybe they’ll help you, too.
When the crap hits the fan (and it will), there are some tried and true techniques to get you through. What to do when overwhelm takes hold.
The impending new year can bring up some anxiety, so why not cut it off at the pass? Change Is Inevitable. {How You Deal With It Is Optional.}
A trick I learned not too long ago was to trust my inner compass. I’m a big fan of learning to let your feelings guide you.
In the end, all we can do is focus on the here and now, because that’s really all there is. (Easier said than done! I know!) Enjoying Everyday Life. {Even When There’s Laundry To Do.}

I have to say, I’m looking forward to the clean slate a new year brings–the opportunities are endless. (Not to mention, I’m getting married!) But in the meantime, I’m going to focus on having fun + being dazzled by the excitement of the season, I hope you can too.

How Will You Wrap Up Your Year? {Some Tips To Make It Through The Holidays.}Steph2018-03-29T20:23:13-04:00

What To Do When Overwhelm Takes Hold.

It seems like the older I get, the faster times goes. I remember my dad saying that to me when I was younger and I thought he was craaaaazy! Keep in mind, during those days I was lounging in front of the TV watching Josie and the Pussycats or the Brady Bunch; time seemed to stand still.

Fast forward to life as an adult and all of a sudden, moments fly by in a blur. At this point in my life, I’m planning a wedding, settling into (and trying to decorate) our new home, getting ready for the holidays + in my spare time, launching my art business. Let’s just say, there’s not a lot of down time.

In fact, there’s too many lists and too many tasks on those lists to check off. All of the things I’m working on are so exciting! And amazing! And I’m not complaining (truly). I’ve said it before–feeling overwhelmed comes from living a full life, so I try to appreciate the gift that come from feeling this way, too.

I just know that even in the fullest, most exciting moments of my life, I can feel overwhelmed to the point of it almost ruining the experience. So here are some tried and true ways I get beyond the fear. Maybe they’ll help you, too:

Make a list. I know, I know, I was just bashing lists but I’m talking about a big master list to work off of. I need to know what I need to manage and if I don’t have the big picture, the overwhelm can seem so much worse than it really is. Seeing everything in front of me puts it into perspective.
Break down the list into manageable tasks. For example: I’m not going to finish the big list in a day or maybe even a week, so I try to ration out tasks over a period of time so I can realistically get them done. Jamming them into an unrealistic time frame only paralyzes me into not taking any action. I recently made this handy schedule for myself and mapped out 2 days, hour by hour. Holy Moley! I was fascinated with how much more I got done when I broke it down into small steps.
Ask for help. Why do we think that we have to do it all, alone? I’m a huge fan of reaching out and asking for expertise/tips from friends and family. There’s no need to reinvent the wheel and they’re usually pretty happy to help (I know I am when people ask me) so stop being the hero + ask for a hand.
Take a step back and evaluate the big picture. Will this matter in a month? A year? etc. Getting clear about what my intentions are, keeps me focused. Overwhelm sometimes comes from the feeling that I’m not doing what I really want to be doing and I end up getting caught up in silly time wasters. Remembering what my goals are helps me get back on track with what I’m actually excited to work towards. And then the stress of it all shrinks.
Take time for self care. Overwhelm comes in and sets up camp when I’m not eating right, exercising regularly or getting enough sleep. So first things first, I have to make sure I’m taking care of my needs and then I can conquer the world–and my list.

What To Do When Overwhelm Takes Hold.Steph2018-03-29T20:23:13-04:00

Enjoying Everyday Life. {Even When There’s Laundry To Do.}

I was catching up with a dear friend on the phone the other day, and after running through the latest news in each of our lives, I asked her again, “So how are you, really?“ She took a deep breath and replied, “I have so many wonderful things going on in my life, but sometimes I’m just going through the motions and not even experiencing the moment. I want to enjoy everything, but I’m so tired.”

Although our lives are on different tracks right now, I understood completely–she has a house to run, a business to help, kids to raise–the list goes on. They’re all amazing blessings, but understandably, she’s overwhelmed.

When did we become so busy that enjoying life became a chore?

We say yes to more, we take on more responsibilities and that’s part of growing–we naturally crave more of a full life. But when it seems like we’re just managing another project, muscling through what needs to get done and not enjoying the process, it’s time to take a step back and look at the big picture. It’s not realistic for everything to be fun and stress-free, but enjoyment should be the foundation of most of what we do.

What about having a periodic check-in process? One that could ground and refocus our intentions–serve as a sort of barometer. When that feeling of overwhelm and stuck-ness creeps in, it’s a good time to regroup and attempt to trade stress for joy.

These are some ideas I try to remember when I check in with myself:

:: What if we said “no” more? It feels so good to say no. Sure, we may miss out on creating some memories, but prioritizing yourself first (yes, that includes you moms!) reminds us the world won’t go into a holding pattern if we’re not a part of every friend/family/work event.

:: What if we didn’t do things out of pure obligation? We would act more from the heart. Sure, there are times when you just have to show up, but if that is the norm, perhaps it’s time to look at why everything feels like an obligation. It’s a signal to re-prioritize.

:: What if we let go of the guilt? We would feel more at ease with our choices. Instead of the should have, could have and would haves, let’s focus on the can-dos, the hell yeses and the amazing opportunities to expand life in ways that work.

:: What if we followed our gut? We would check in with ourselves more. We would hone in on the things in life that bring us ecstasy and joy. We would have more spontaneous dancing, visits with friends, trips of exploration, indulging in hobbies. It’s simple: doing more of what we love brings us more happiness.

:: What if we made our feelings just as important as everyone else’s? We would feel validated and cherished. Making ourselves a priority is healthy and necessary. If we’re always on the back burner of importance, resentment and frustration take over; if we make ourselves the number one priority, we can be more helpful and useful to everyone around us.

Life can feel like a treadmill or an amazing adventure, it’s your choice. If you stop and smell the roses and take those breaks to re-prioritize, you give yourself time and permission to enjoy the life you’re living. And trust me–the laundry will still be there when you’re done.

Enjoying Everyday Life. {Even When There’s Laundry To Do.}Steph2018-03-29T20:23:22-04:00

How I Handle Overwhelm. {Lessons on Tending the Mental Garden.}

There are some days I wake up and feel completely overwhelmed for no specific reason. It seems to happen when I have a lot of projects going on, and I don’t feel like I’m making much progress; it feels like I’m stuck in quicksand.

Even though I have a full-time job, this blog, a wonderful relationship, loving family and friends, an active social life and a healthy mind and body, I can still feel like I’m treading water and not getting anywhere. I’m busy, but sometimes I’m just too far into the woods to see I’m surrounded by beautiful flowering trees.

Overwhelm can often come from living life fully.

The cycle of overwhelm is familiar to all of us; here’s the process I use for digging my way out. (You have a process too but maybe these tips will help.)

1.) My path back to solid ground starts by just acknowledging the overwhelm and giving in to it for a bit. Rather than fighting the feelings, I wallow in it for a bit because the only way out is through; whether it’s sadness, fear, stress or anger, I swim around and let it wash over me. It’s quite indulgent in a deliciously negative way, but in order to move on from it, I have to know what it is.

2.) I begin to remember that the heaviness holding me down is not something I want taking root in my life. I remind myself that overwhelm is happening because even though I feel stuck, there’s a lot of action happening in my life that is causing it. A lot of action means that I am trying, I am taking risks and staying open. And that’s a good thing.

3.) I continue digging myself out by mentally regrouping. I make lists and do some deep breathing. I pay attention to the part of me that really wants to grow + learn from my experiences, even when I’m feeling trapped and paralyzed. I take a step back and have gratitude for what is good; that helps put everything into perspective.

:: I tap into the feelings of what is working in my life and make moves towards growing that area.

:: I begin to peel away the fear. I don’t dive into things headfirst, I cautiously unwrap myself. Gentleness and patience are my friends.

:: I look at things as they are rather than how I want them to be.

:: I set aside time to be quiet and listen to my heart. I feel my way through the process of slowly climbing back up rather than muscling my way out. I trust my gut.

4.) I make a mental list of how I can use these tricks for next time. When I feel like myself again sans panic, I can step back and see what I’ve done–how I’ve untangled myself from a web of fears that probably don’t even exist to begin with.

When I take the time to slow down and reevaluate, I see that my overwhelm is usually 1/3 my imagination, 1/3 unorganization and 1/3 dread of tedious, but necessary tasks. Picking it apart helps me see more clearly–It brings light to the darkness, levity to the heavy. In the end, I try to appreciate my courage for moving forward and getting over that hump of overwhelm.

This process is a part of becoming more me; just like soil that needs to be turned, the richness is under the surface.

How do you handle overwhelm when it takes over?

How I Handle Overwhelm. {Lessons on Tending the Mental Garden.}Steph2018-03-29T20:23:24-04:00

The Secret To Happiness: Let Go of These 5 Lame Beliefs. {Part 2}

Want to Read Part 1 First? The Secret To Happiness: Let Go of These 5 Lame Beliefs. {Part 1}

letting go and holding on

There are certain beliefs we have that stop us from being ultimately happy. We don’t even realize where they come from because they are so ingrained into our psyche. We grow up with these beliefs, (mostly from our parents but also from experiences) and we take them as concrete facts.

We may not even fully buy in to these ideas, but they are so intimately woven into our lives that we don’t see them for what they really are: half-truths.

Lame beliefs hold us prisoner and don’t offer any solace. They delay our growth and happiness.

Let’s let go of these things:

Let go of always wanting more. We are conditioned to want more, but studies show we are happier with less. There’s a saturation point for wanting things, both of a physical and emotional nature. Don’t be a hoarder.

Let go of the fear of the unknown. There’s no magic bullet. You are going to have to figure things out as they come. But fear is a contagious feeling and it will burrow deep in your heart if you let it. Trust that things are happening as they should, then take a deep breath and keep moving forward.

Let go of feeling like time is running out. Time is a man-made construct. You are the ruler of your time, not the other way around.

Let go of the godforsaken drama. Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. (Eleanor Roosevelt) Don’t buy into someone else’s crazytown just because they’re bored and have nothing else to talk about. Rise above the triteness and find other ways to nourish your soul.

Let go of needing to know the answers. Enjoy the process and pace at which your life is moving. If you knew everything all at once, you’d be overwhelmed and miserable. Enjoy the unfolding of it all.

Make regular adjustments in your life. It’s normal to change your mind, you’re entitled to grow and expand and move on.

Let go of those lame beliefs that no longer serve you.

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The Secret To Happiness: Let Go of These 5 Lame Beliefs. {Part 2}Steph2018-03-29T20:23:24-04:00