Home/Tag: options

Know When To Hold ‘Em, Know When To Fold ‘Em. (How To Make A Decision.)

Some people are just good at making decisions, are you one of them? Click through for 4 simple steps to walk you through how to make a decision so it's less overwhelming.

It seems like the older I get, the harder it can be to make a decision.  I’m not sure if it’s because I’m more conscientious, or that I’m noticing my perfectionist tendencies, but either way–I’ve recently noticed I don’t make decisions as quickly as I used to.

Understanding how to make a decision is the difference between being a child and an adult. I am lucky because I had a mostly easy childhood and didn’t have to make a lot of heavy decisions– there’s a tribe of people–parents, neighbors, classmates, friends + family that helped move me along to the next step.

But when do you figure it out how to make a decision on your own?

For example: I remember the moment I told my parents I wasn’t sure I wanted to go to college and that I thought I’d take a year off to explore.  Their response was, “that’s nice honey, now get in your room and finish your college applications.”  The decision was made for me; my parents didn’t let my fear of growing up get in the way of my progress.

Fast forward to post-college days; they were full of trial and error.  Left to my own devices, some of my decisions lingered longer for the mere fact that I didn’t know what I was doing.  My failed engagement sent me into a tailspin,  there were a few jobs that weren’t quite the right fit for me and my ever changing address kept me on the move; decisions during this time were made a lot by trial and error.

Now as a real adult, (what is that anyway? I recognize that each decision is a small piece of the puzzle of the life I am building.  No one is pushing me along anymore.  I am the creator of my own life.

And sometimes I’m afraid of making the wrong decision.  Aren’t we all?  But I’ve figured out a simple way to go through the decision process and not get overwhelmed.  You can easily walk your way through these steps, too:

1) Weigh the options.  Demistify the whole process.  Are there 4 different possibilities?  Write each one down and take into consideration the options they offer.  When you can see the different paths broken down step-by-step, it takes the mystery (and fear) out of each one.

2) Think about the what ifs.  What ifs can often bring you to a screeching halt, but to make a sound decision,  you have to consider each alternative.  There’s always this thought: what if I hate my decision?  What if it doesn’t work?  But there’s also this: What if I succeed beyond my wildest dreams?  The possibilities are endless.  If you hash out the most immediate ones, the options becomes more manageable.

3) Set a deadline to pull the trigger.  Give yourself some room to figure things out, but give yourself a deadline of when to decide.  Procrastination is the enemy of progress, especially with matters of the heart.  When you allow yourself some room but also set a goal of when to reign it in, you’ll feel better about exploring. 

4) Go for it.   You can’t accomplish anything if you don’t make a choice.  Check in with your gut and make a move.  Good or bad, actually taking some steps is a positive.  Things work out well?  Great, you now have more confidence.  Things falter a bit?  Find the learning point in there and keep moving forward.  And remember–it all works out in the end.

Signature

 

 

 

 

Know When To Hold ‘Em, Know When To Fold ‘Em. (How To Make A Decision.)2018-03-29T20:23:19-04:00

Simple Steps To Get Out Of A Rut

You don't have to suffer if you're in a rut! Click through for some simple steps to take to get you out of your funk + moving forward in your life again.

Feeling like you’re in a rut is the worst, isn’t it?  I can remember certain times in my life where I felt like things would never change.  Of course I was wrong, but that didn’t make how I felt any less horrible!

How do you handle things when you feel like you can’t seem to get out of a rut? Feeling like you’re unable to move forward can be paralyzing. Whether it’s creatively, personally or professionally, ruts can grab hold and squash your mojo really easily. *Ugh*  The good news is, there are ways to get out of it and they’re pretty simple.

Here are few things that you can do next time you’re having that stuck in a rut feeling:

  • Identify the source of feeling stuck.  Is it a crappy job?  Or a relationship that isn’t working anymore? Being honest with yourself about why you feel stuck in a rut will at least make it clear what you need to do to improve the situation or move on.  Don’t get me wrong–owning up to what isn’t working isn’t easy, but at least you’ll be more clear about why you’re feeling this way + that will make room for change when you’re ready.
  • Make a list of options.  Do a brain dump and get down on paper all of the ways you can get out of the rut.  Don’t think too hard when you’re doing this, just let your mind wander + write down everything that comes up, no matter how far fetched it may seem.  Sometimes you need to start with big thoughts to get down to the actionable pieces.  When I do this, I’m always amazed what my subconscious comes up with.
  • Go back to the basics. Think about a time in your life when you felt absolutely fantastic. What were you doing?  What was different? There’s no need to reinvent the wheel–when you’re feeling stuck, it’s always good to go back to things that have worked for you in the past and build from there.
  • Check in with yourself + make sure you are practicing self care: eat right, move your body, connect with others + do something that brings you joy.  These practices have a cumulative effect so even if you don’t feel like it, get your body moving in the right direction and your brain will catch up with you later.
  • Give yourself a time limit.  Being in a rut can quickly transition to feeling depressed.  By giving yourself a time limit to wallow in your stuck-ness, you are more likely to get out of it sooner.  Set a time limit that you need to take action by in order to avoid sliding backwards–even if that means faking it a little to get you moving.
  • Ask for help.  Tell your close friends + family how you’re feeling.  Ask them for support and perhaps even for some help to get moving forward.  They love you and want to help, so let them!  This trick alone has saved me countless times when I was stuck.
  • Allow room for adjustments.  Bouncing back after being down can sometimes feel like you’re taking two steps forward, one step back.  Be gentle with yourself during this time as you make changes, it may not go as smoothly as you want but any progress is good.  Transitions take time + patience, so celebrate the small victories along the way!

Try to remember–feeling stuck can be a gift, too.  I’ve had times of total frustration in my life when I wasn’t where I wanted to be and I felt totally lost.  Recognizing this + using some of these tools to get out of that rut brought me to a whole new phase of my life.  Looking back, I realize those difficult times helped me transition + grow.  I hope these tricks help you, too.

Love, Steph

 

 

 

Simple Steps To Get Out Of A Rut2018-03-29T20:23:25-04:00
Go to Top