There has been a lot going on in my neck of the woods these days. Mostly, it’s really wonderful stuff, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy just because it’s wonderful. There are so many fantastic things we can experience in life that can totally stress us out, right?
Planning a wedding, settling into a new house and mapping out a future with Chris is causing me some high anxiety, so I’m trying to wrap my brain around all of the changes in a gentle way. I know it’s normal to feel some fear with major change, but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. I realized that in order for me to function in a healthy way, I need to pay very close attention to my feelings.
Our feelings are a barometer of what we’re experiencing. They can be an amazing signal as to whether we are being true to ourselves; a proverbial steering wheel in life.
And because we’re all naturally a little narcissistic, it can often feel like our feelings are SO intense and SO unique. Because in a way, they are– we only know ourselves from the inside, so we feel what we feel, and can’t compare it to anything else.
As a result, when the waves of life come up, I try to remember to go easy on myself and take a moment to check in. I take a quick inventory of what’s really going on with me–because how could I expect anyone else to understand how I feel, if I don’t figure it out for myself first?
Here are 3 things that help me tune into my feelings (maybe they’ll help you, too):
- Tune in to your physical responses to different situations. Does your breathing quicken? Do you get a pit in your stomach? Do you get cold or sweaty? All of these are a physical response to an emotional trigger. Only you can know what your body is telling you, so stop ignoring the signs and start listening up.
- Suspend the obligatory gestures. Forget about the rules and what you’re supposed to be doing to make others happy, tune into what YOU want and focus on how that feels. Once you figure out what you want + how you want to feel, you can navigate your actions and emotions in a healthier way.
- Ask yourself: does it feel good? Sometimes we get so caught up in getting to the end result that we forget to tune in along the way. The journey is the gift, so making sure you enjoy each moment, no matter how small, will only make the destination that much sweeter.
I know when I am trying to be helpful or agreeable, I tend to put other people’s feelings above my own. Perhaps it’s me seeking for approval or just wanting to make others happy, but I have recently realized something simple yet epic: I can follow my feelings and still be loving + lovable. Following our feelings means letting others see them, too.
As I navigate this fascinating journey of getting to know myself better, I am tuning in to my feelings more and letting them show. And you know what? That feels pretty good.