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You Will Never Regret Being Too Kind.

You will never regret being too kind. Need a pick me up to brighten your day? Click through to see the series Quick Inspiration on the Blog. The series includes some of my favorite quotes!

You will never regret being too kind, friend.

Maybe I’m becoming more mature or I’m learning to be more compassionate, but I feel like it gets easier to be kind as I get older.  We all need gentle words or gestures from others–it actually takes more effort to be nasty or rude, don’t you think?

And this goes for how we treat ourselves, too.  We need to be more kind with how we talk to ourselves–that inner voice shapes our views + outlook.  And when we have a gentle voice encouraging us from the inside, it’s easier to offer that voice to others on the outside.

There’s no such thing as being too kind.

Love, Steph

 

 

 

You Will Never Regret Being Too Kind.2018-03-29T20:23:07-04:00

Be Kind To Unkind People.

I was recently in one of my favorite health food stores at lunch time, looking for something quick to take on the go.  They have an awesome organic salad bar and fresh soups that are so yummy, I often dream about them (my favorite is vegetable dumpling!)  So while I was walking around checking out the offerings of the day, I noticed a lady that was getting the soup I was interested in.  I asked her with a smile, “Is that hot?” because sometimes when they bring out a new pot, it’s lukewarm and you need to heat it up a little.

I was being friendly–just making conversation, trying to make up my mind about what I was going to get.  Her response was: “How should I know, I can’t feel anything through the cardboard!”  I was a little taken back by her response, but I continued with a laugh “Oh, I’m sorry to bother you, I was just curious.  You actually can feel the heat through the cardboard” and extended my hand to touch it quickly (my first mistake).  She immediately recoiled in horror and started raising her voice at me: “I don’t work here!  Why don’t you ask someone that works here!”

Be kind to unkind peopleIn shock, I quickly tried to get away from her.  Clearly this was someone that didn’t want to be talked to and I totally get that.  I changed my location to the other side of the salad bar to end the whole interaction.  But apparently my new friend wasn’t done with me.

She proceeded to yell at the person behind the juice bar, “Hey this lady keeps bugging me about the soup, but I told her I don’t work here.  You work here–is it hot?  Please tell her so she stops bugging me.”  I couldn’t resist a rebuttal from across the salad bar (my second mistake) “I’m a grown adult and can ask for help if I need it, thank you.  You’re being really rude, please leave me alone.”

I wanted to be kind, but I was feeling so bullied; and I’m embarrassed to say I was shaking.  What did I do other than start a friendly conversation?  I felt like she attacked me for asking a simple question.  I realize this may not seem like a heavily involved exchange, but at the time, her nastiness made the hair on my neck stand up.  How was making me feel stupid helping her?

And then I remembered something I read in The Four Agreements: it’s not about me.  I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and the receiver of something that had nothing to do with me.  She was working something out and I was in the line of fire.

It wasn’t personal.

As soon as I was reminded of this, I calmed down a bit.

The employee went over to the soup and felt the pot–he declared that it was ‘adequately hot’.  The crazy lady started chatting to him about how she didn’t understand why I didn’t just ask him to begin with and reiterated again, that she didn’t work there.  Ok, lady.  We got it.

I took my time getting to the register to avoid another exchange with her and overheard her lecturing someone on line about a product that was recalled.  She wanted to know how it could still be in the store!   It was then that I realized that she probably just really needed a hug.   I flipped my thinking just then and wished her well in my heart.  She clearly wasn’t a happy person.

We all have bad days, I know.  This experience was a good reminder that just because people react towards me in a certain way doesn’t mean I have to engage.  There’s always a choice to be made–as long as I stay true to myself and remember not to take things personally, I can’t go wrong.

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Be Kind To Unkind People.2018-03-29T20:23:11-04:00

We’re all tender. Be kind.

We're all tender, be kind. Click through for 3 easy ways to get into the kindness mindset.

Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary. ― J.M. Barrie

I’ve been thinking a lot about kindness lately.  I’ve always had a visceral physical reaction to others when they struggle, especially when I see a frail old person–it touches something deep inside of me.  I try to be helpful when I can, but I’ve come to understand that strife is often just a part of living.

But it got me thinking: how can I be more tender and kind to people in my life?

Not just the gas station attendant or the bank teller, but the people I’m closest to: my best friend, my sister, my love.  And it’s the ones that I brush up against everyday, the ones that can often rub me the wrong way I need to remember to be the most kind to!

So, how am I tender in times of annoyance? Here are some tips I use:

1) Give it to myself first.  I HAVE to be kind to myself before I can extend kindness to anyone else.  That inner voice yelling at me for eating that piece of cake?  That’s not kind.  Finding a way to be gentle with myself makes it a lot easier to extend that courtesy to others.

2) Walk in someone else’s shoes.  When I see people struggling, I think about the last horrible day I had and I just imagine that’s how they are feeling.  It’s a lot easier to lend them a helping hand through that lens because I know how they feel.  They may be having a horrible day of their own and that empathy leads me to be more kind.

work hard and be kind3)Make it easy to do.  Kindness doesn’t have to be giving someone half of my lottery winnings (although that would be very nice). It’s more of a willing smile.  A pleasant hello.  A door held open.  This unexpected simple stuff is what makes people’s day.

Being kind is a necessary quality to cultivate, especially as an adult.  I mean it’s pretty easy for me to resort to the grounding habits I know when the shit hits the fan; crisis makes it easy to be kind.  But what about the everyday pleasantries?

Who you are is what you do on an everyday basis.

That’s how habits are formed, slow and steady.  It’s what you do everyday that counts and builds character.  You know that edge that we all have?  That’s the sprint.  Kindness is the marathon.

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We’re all tender. Be kind.2018-03-29T20:23:28-04:00
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