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Don’t Be Seduced By The Struggle. {Follow The Ease.}

Don’t Be Seduced By The Struggle. {Follow The Ease.} Move beyond the belief that you have to struggle in order to thrive! (I included some options to get you out of the struggle mode faster.) Click through for easy tips on how to follow a life of ease.

One of the most seductive lies we’re told is: you have to struggle to get what you want.

We are taught at a young age that we must fight for what we want–as if life is a battle and we are waging our own personal war.  This defensive and fearful attitude sets us up for pain and suffering, no?  It teaches us we must always be prepared to engage in combat in order to be happy.  Coming from this perspective, we forget that things can happen easily and effortlessly in life.

If we are constantly reinforcing thoughts about struggle and hardship, how can anything else show up?

I know in my own life when I am trying too hard to make something happen or if I’m white-knuckling it, the object of my desire usually eludes me.  It’s doubly frustrating because I see what I’m doing, but I just can’t get out of my own way.

During these times, if I take a step back and relax a little, things often fall into place.  It’s only when I evaluate what the struggle really means to me does it become clear why I’m pushing through it so hard to begin with.  Am I coming from a place of lack or insecurity?  Struggles are often rooted in fear–taking a deeper look helps me stop making choices out of fear.  When I remember this, I can step back and see where I can choose ease instead.

No matter how you slice it, challenges are a part of life; they build character and confidence.  And when kept in check, these growth experiences can bring us to the next level.  The key is knowing the difference between challenges and true struggle; only you can determine that.   One is helpful while the other instills fear and can ultimately hold you back.

Here are some ways to flow effortlessly through struggles:

1) Live in the moment. Getting what you want out of life comes from living in the moment and enjoying the pleasures that it brings.  Accepting what’s happening NOW and not living in the past or future allows us to enjoy the ease of living for today.   

2) Find pleasure in simple things.  “The best things in life are free” was a popular song for a reason.  When you enjoy the simple pleasures of life, it fills you with ease.  Life becomes fun again.

3) Be helpful to others.  When you come from a mindset of giving, the universe delivers it back to you ten-fold; Karma is what makes the world go around.  Helpful people always see solutions rather than problems + often receive help as much as they give it.

4) Be open to different alternatives.  If you get stuck thinking that only one way will do, it sure limits your options!  People that live with ease are open to doing one thing many ways; they are open to the idea that their way may not be best + are open to try new things.

I know a lot of times when I’m out of my own flow and buying into the struggle, it’s because of pressure from external factors: society telling me where I’m supposed to be by a certain time of life, what kind of work I should be doing, what environment I should be in etc.  It’s in these murky waters that my own dreams and wishes can get lost.

Struggle depletes the inner joy we naturally possess because it is not our instinctive default; happiness is.  

Happiness is the antidote to struggle.  Happiness cultivates moments of ease, especially when we follow our gut because it helps us move forward. With a happiness mindset, things happen effortlessly.  We are meant to be happy.

When I’m happy, I pick the ease-ier way.  I follow my gut, I trust the flow of life.  I don’t get caught up in the keeping-up-with-anyone and I just focus on what my heart is saying.  The struggles seem to disappear.  Choosing happiness brings me back to focusing on who I am and who I am becoming.  And that’s the best place to be.

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Don’t Be Seduced By The Struggle. {Follow The Ease.}2018-03-29T20:23:19-04:00

My Resolution Revolt. {And What I’m Embracing Instead.}

I’ve finally realized that resolutions are not my thing.  In the past, I’ve tried to make them a big part of starting each year by writing them down and proclaiming them to the world, but all it does is stress me out.  All of that public declaring is exhausting.  The expectations from myself (and others) feel overwhelming and suffocating–it takes the joy out of new beginnings.

Another reason making a resolution isn’t for me is because it demands huge blocks of change.  I’ve noticed in my life that when I have created true lasting change, it’s always been from small, micro-movements.  I work better in small spurts of adjustments than I do in huge over-hauling chunks.

The small movements ease me into transition and keep my momentum going.  Implementing those small chunks fosters my growth and I avoid overwhelm in the process (most of the time). When I follow my heart, my life is easier.

So this year, I’m not making any resolutions, but instead, I am committing to a specific feeling:

This is the year of  following my gut.

cherry blossom cornerI find when I really tune into my inner wisdom and my natural compass, things always work out better.  To others, it may look like I’m going against the flow or acting foolish, but tuning in to my intuition always brings me to the place I need to be.  It helps me override that competitive monkey mind and tap in to listen to what my heart is calling out for.   

In a way, letting go of resolutions is about letting go of expectations.

Following my gut stops me from being distracted by shiny objects or comparing myself to others and it helps me focus on my unique path.  It reminds me that everyone has their own journey and that it’s ok to walk to my own song.  Different is what makes us beautiful; honoring that is the best way to become more myself.

Following our instincts is about following the flow of ease and enjoying the ride.  It’s about using the solution that works best, even when it will ruffle a few feathers.

Do you want to create your own gut-following journey?  Here are a few signals I use that show me I am moving in the right direction, maybe they will help you too:

  • When I trust my intuition and tune in, decisions are full of ease.  As a result, I have a peaceful outlook.
  • It’s a feeling of relief knowing that only I can know what’s best for me, even when it looks foreign to others.
  • Following my gut gives me confidence as I get to know myself and my needs better.  It builds me up.
  • My intuition allows me to settle in to who I am.  Asserting my needs can be scary, but my gut gives me guidance and assurance along the way.
  • It feels joyful to know that my inner wisdom tells me what I need to know.  I don’t have to guess or worry.

As we begin a new year, I hope this simple idea will help you find a feeling of your own to follow.  And I hope it brings you joy and peace in the process.

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My Resolution Revolt. {And What I’m Embracing Instead.}2018-03-29T20:23:19-04:00
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