I knew this girl in college who seemed almost robotic; she looked perfect from the outside. She was an A+ student, an athlete and she had the perfect come back for everything. She dressed impeccably and never cursed, farted or had lipstick on her teeth. Sometimes it was exhausting just being around her.
At this point in my life, I was still figuring out that overalls were not my best fashion choice and that I desperately needed to let my pixie cut grow out if I ever wanted a boyfriend. College was the ultimate petri dish of figuring yourself out; but when I compared myself to her, I felt like I completely missed the memo on how to have it all together.
One day when I was heading to class, I saw her secretly smoking. It may not seem like much (considering we were in the experimental college years) but she had painted such a picture of perfection to everyone around her that it was waaaay out of character. Even she was hiding it.
Funny thing is–after that day, I kind of liked her more. When I saw her be more human and fallible, she grew on me.
No one has it together, why are we all so delusional to think we’re the only one that doesn’t? When I started taking my painting classes as an adult, I felt so uncomfortable because I didn’t know what I was doing (most days I still don’t). I was surrounded by some amazing artists that would whip up a masterpiece in a two hour time frame, while I was still trying to figure out what brush to use. As a result, I became frustrated and defensive–my weakness was showing for everyone to see! But then I remembered it’s part of the process, part of learning and growing. I loosened up, felt the discomfort and worked through it.
Life is full of constant adjustments. We try to hide our imperfections; we bob and weave and morph into unrecognizable versions of ourselves. We all have those feelings of frustration and inadequacy.
We all hide in some way or another. We tweak, fix, primp and change our ways so that no one sees that other side of us–the part that we think no one wants to see (ugly, dark, sloppy, needy etc). We cover our grey hair, tamper down our sexuality, play the game because we all have that fear of truly being seen for who we are.
The funny part is, the ‘ugly’ side is what connects us. We can all relate to that side, because it’s real.
It’s the quirks that people fall in love with, not the perfection.
Decide who you are and work on becoming comfortable with that. Not because others like it, but because YOU like it.
Those quirks make us loveable. Next time you’re feeling bashful or embarassed, don’t twist or contort yourself to fit a certain mold. Show the world who you are because someone’s going to love it.